Can we gain another hour by clinging to the last rays of a sunset?
Will squeezing them tighter earn us one more golden drop?
Nature it seems, is in an almost constant state of transition. From season to season, from one day to the next. With every night, the moon wears a slightly different face. Yet for some reason, we have a tendency to try and force time to stand still.
Or worse, attempt to hurry on ahead and rush on to the next thing. We are stuck in a schizophrenic relationship with our illusion of time and control…believing on one hand if we cling to certain things we can make them last. While on the other, thinking we have absolutely no ability to alter, affect, or change our present state or situation.
September 07, 2025
The Fire, the Grip, and the Flow of Time
How long should we hold onto summer?
When the Ember Teaches Us to Breathe
In the art of primitive fire-craft one must learn to cradle the ember in a nest to help it grow. There is an analogy often used to describe the perfect balance between holding too tightly or too loosely: when introducing oxygen to the fledgling flame, you imagine holding a baby squirrel in the palm of your hand.
Squeeze too tight and you crush it to death. Grasp too gingerly, and it will escape or fall out of your hand.
To paint another picture from perhaps a less esoteric art, there is a concept called “grips” in the playing of jiu-jitsu and judo. In order to out maneuver and ultimately subdue your opponent, where and how you grab them plays a vital role...something both players are keenly aware of.
This results in a fair amount of posturing and positioning often referred to as “hand fighting” in the realm of wrestling, and it can play a large part in whether a technique is effectively executed or not. Much of the contest then, revolves around this chess match of who holds what pieces. Many times, when someone obtains what they perceive as a dominant grip, they will not let go of it for any reason.
The Rhythm of Holding On and Letting Go
There are absolutely times when one must stand his ground and refuse to budge or concede a single inch. But to white knuckle our way through life can only result in injury and pain. Most seasoned BJJ students and teachers wear the hallmark of taped fingers and arthritic hands for their efforts. Years of clinging to fistfuls of material, lapels, sleeves, and cuff of the pants, only to have them forcibly ripped away by their opponent, to then be fought over once again, inevitably takes it’s toll.
Some of the very best competitors in the world abide by this vise-grip mentality, so far be it from me to say it is incorrect or ineffective. It isn’t, but it comes at a cost…that if you live by the sword, you shouldn’t be surprised if you die upon it as well. If you’re currently the best in the world at something or are on the path to achieving that temporary glory, this message likely isn’t for you.
To Cradle or to Clutch
To achieve what no one has, you must be willing to do what no one has done, potentially at the expense of all else, including your own longevity. Such an approach to life demands operating in the extremes, breaking the natural rhythm by squeezing, clinging, and clawing at things, even if only to have them inevitably pried away.
In these pursuits, we are left to sit with the scars and pain. Our only salve found in the athletic tape around our fingers and memories in our heart. This may sound bleak, and to all but the very elite, it probably is.
But what of our ‘baby squirrel’ analogy?
What would our practice, our experience of life, look and feel like if instead of clutching, we were able to cradle?
If we held onto a moment with just the right tension? Where it doesn’t slip away unnoticed, but we are not so bound to it that we fail to fully experience all the others.
Must we continue to remain unwilling passengers in the illusion of speeding up or slowing down the passage of time?
Or could we, like nature, exist in a series of seasons that seamlessly flow from one to the next...without excessive force or friction.